Have you ever heard the infamous phrase, “you knew what you were getting yourself into?” A friend may have said that to you in a pitiful attempt at comforting you or perhaps you have uttered these words to yourself. No matter how you’ve heard those eight words, they couldn’t have possibly provided you with any comfort and when you hear them again (because as a military wife, you will)…RUN!! Okay, so don’t take off in a sprint or anything, but figuratively speaking, “run”. Seriously, you wouldn’t tell these words to a doctor after losing her patient or a mother after her child deeply disappointed her.
When I vowed my love and commitment to my husband I knew he was in the military. I knew he would deploy, spend long days/nights at work, have things he could not talk about and feel stressed over work. I knew there would be days where I had to be “Supermom” and care for our kids alone. I knew that he would miss out on some events. Sure, I knew those things would happen, but theory and practice are two different things. In theory, I knew what to expect but it wasn’t until I lived it that I could fully grasp this lifestyle as a military wife. There are days when I scream. There are days when I hate my husband’s career. There are days when I desperately need a nap but the kids are up. There are days when I look like an extra from the “Walking Dead.” There are days when I want to give up and no amount of planning could have ever prepared me for these days so NO, I DO NOT want to hear, “you knew what you were getting yourself into.” I didn’t know what I was getting into, because nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that come with the difficult days and despite the difficulties and the venting, my love for my husband prevails.
If you gain nothing else from these words, please know that it’s okay to vent, it’s okay to feel frustrated and it’s okay to feel burdened as a military wife. In all of your frustration, know that it won’t last and find at least one good friend who will listen without judgment and after you’ve vented, keep pushing!
Post By: Atiya Nathan, MSW. Atiya (pictured above) is a proud Navy wife, mother of two beautiful children and a professional, who encourages others to enhance their lives.